faggot roach gets owned

I'm average but better than you. 17. Chicago.

poopflow:

i slowly open my eyes “where am i” i mutter softly, i turn to look around. I am covered in bottles of champagne. “what the fu-” i slowly realize what has happened. I have just awoken in a new bugatti 

(via jewbale)

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

Preps are not welcome here in Guinea-Bissau. Take a hike over to Equatorial Guinea, nerd. 

rydek:

this girl on my facebook feed has been posting statuses for 8 hours straight all today begging for someone to kill a spider in her bathroom and having several breakdowns in the middle and ranting about how she has no true friends because no one would kill it only to realize that it was a piece of hair and i’m still laughing

(via thatsmoderatelyraven)

nostalgiaultra:

John Cena’s last words were

“I always said I’d die for straight edge, so here I go. Goodbye friends. Alcohol free, Drug free, God free, Buy one get one free with every purchase”

teenytigress: SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY I’m p sure I know this kid

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

I’m p sure I know this kid

(via captainillmatic)

the-sonic-boom:

thatsmoderatelyraven:

The great gatsby

She deserves an Oscar, that was brilliant.

(via thatsmoderatelyraven)